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Author Topic: The Extremely Lame & Corny Joke Thread!  (Read 10097 times)

SaraPops

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The Extremely Lame & Corny Joke Thread!
« on: April 12, 2011, 07:13:34 AM »
I don't think there's a thread like this yet. The only rules of this thread are that the jokes must not cross the YYN rules.
I'll start off with a classic.

A guy was in his front yard mowing grass, when his attractive female neighbor, Samantha, came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.

A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the guy was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"
« Last Edit: April 12, 2011, 07:19:18 AM by SaraPops »
i found an unusually large cornflake on ebay for 200 bucks.

ReverendYo

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Re: The Extremely Lame & Corny Joke Thread!
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2011, 09:40:51 AM »
^^^^^ Love it!

Here is my personal favorite joke of all time: P1 = Person 1; P2 = Person 2

P1:  How do you kill a Pink Elephant?
P2:  I don't know
P1:  Shoot it with a Pink Elephant Gun!  Now lets see if you learned from your mistake... How do you kill a Blue Elephant?
P2:  Um, Shoot it with a Blue Elephant gun?
P1:  No!  You paint it pink and shoot it with a pink elephant gun!

~Rev
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AndyCandy

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Re: The Extremely Lame & Corny Joke Thread!
« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2011, 01:37:06 PM »
A man gets send to the psychatrist. The man keeps on stomping his feet on the ground.
The pyschiarists asks the man: "Why are you doing that?"
The man replies: "To scare away the elephants!"
The pyschiatrist replies: "But there are no elephants around here!"
"See, it works!!"
::violin::
Learning very slowly...


mrneumann5000

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Re: The Extremely Lame & Corny Joke Thread!
« Reply #3 on: April 12, 2011, 01:54:03 PM »
Okay, this ones more of a play on words so it doesnt work out too well typed:
So 2 guys walk into a bar; 1 guy is a chemist and the other guy is his friend
The bartender goes to them and asks what they want
The chemist replys: "Well, Im a chemist, so Ill have some H2O"
And the chemists friend thought that that was awesome so he hsaid "Ok. Ill have some H2O too!"
So they get their drinks. The chemists drinks some to quench his thirst. His friend takes a big gulp and dies.

GET IT!?!?! He said H2O2 which is hydrogen peroxide.
I'm pretty impressed by anyone who can look at a drawing and decide how well the yoyo will play.

hobbygod

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Re: The Extremely Lame & Corny Joke Thread!
« Reply #4 on: April 12, 2011, 03:42:40 PM »
I have to charge for my yoyos.

Really?  I didnt know that yoyos had batteries  ::happycry::

Faust

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Re: The Extremely Lame & Corny Joke Thread!
« Reply #5 on: April 12, 2011, 09:55:55 PM »
Here are a few short ones for you all:

Why did the one-armed bandit cross the road?

- To get to the second hand shop.

Why did the yoyo cross the road?

- Because it was walking the dog.

What do you call a guy with an eagle stuck on his face?

- Cliff

What do you call a guy from India with a new TV?

- Mr HD Reddy

Tip

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Re: The Extremely Lame & Corny Joke Thread!
« Reply #6 on: April 12, 2011, 10:24:18 PM »
The lamest joke I know is in Spanish it goes:


¿Que hace el pez? (What does the fish do?)

¡Nada! (Nada means "nothing", it also means "swim".)

¡jajajaja!  (hahahaha!)
 

...


Learned it in Spanish 1.

Jeremym

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Re: The Extremely Lame & Corny Joke Thread!
« Reply #7 on: April 12, 2011, 10:25:35 PM »
A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm.  The bartender asks "what can I get for you?"  The man replies "Two beers" he continues pointing at the concrete slab "One for me and one for the road".  

A Yo-Yoer is walking down the street practicing a new trick.  He walks into his house.  Ouch

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ratfacedudeguy

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Re: The Extremely Lame & Corny Joke Thread!
« Reply #8 on: April 12, 2011, 10:54:09 PM »
*Driving down the street with Dad in the car*
Dad: "See that place right there?" *points to conveniently located cemetery on the side of the road*
Me: "Yeah...?"
Dad: "People are just dying to get in there."

Ba-zing...

Hollandyo

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Re: The Extremely Lame & Corny Joke Thread!
« Reply #9 on: April 12, 2011, 10:55:46 PM »
I'll bite.

Got this first one from Lemmy
P1: Do you know how to sell a frog to a deaf guy?
P2: No how do you?
P1: /yell "HEY WANNA BUY A FROG?!"


P1: A fish runs into a wall, what does he say?
P2: Iunuh wut?
P1: Dam!
esotericorderofvegon.tumblr.com

Hollandyo

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Re: The Extremely Lame & Corny Joke Thread!
« Reply #10 on: April 12, 2011, 11:05:42 PM »
Just remembered another one!

A helium floats into a bar. The bartender looks at it and says "We don't serve your kind here!". The helium doesn't react.  O0
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SaraPops

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Re: The Extremely Lame & Corny Joke Thread!
« Reply #11 on: April 13, 2011, 01:15:02 AM »
Found this:

What do you call a bear without claws?

A gummy bear!
i found an unusually large cornflake on ebay for 200 bucks.

Faust

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Re: The Extremely Lame & Corny Joke Thread!
« Reply #12 on: April 13, 2011, 07:11:38 AM »
Growing up, my family was so poor, if I was born a girl I would have had nothing to play with!

wolfman

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Re: The Extremely Lame & Corny Joke Thread!
« Reply #13 on: April 13, 2011, 07:38:06 AM »
Two onions rings get tossed into the fryer, the first onion ring looks at the second and says, "Man, it's hot in here!".  The second onion ring looks back at the first and says "OH MY GOD! THAT ONION RING CAN TALK!"

This one works best when said out loud...

Two whales are sitting at a bar, the first whale looks up over his glass and says "wuuoooo oooh oooh oooh, wuuoooo oooh oooh oooh... (I'm going for whale noises here, and to help make the joke land you have to drag this out for about 30sec to a minute)."  The second whale looks back at his buddy and says "go home, you're drunk. I can't understand a word your saying!"
« Last Edit: April 13, 2011, 07:39:36 AM by wolfman »

SaraPops

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Re: The Extremely Lame & Corny Joke Thread!
« Reply #14 on: April 13, 2011, 08:01:20 PM »
Growing up, my family was so poor, if I was born a girl I would have had nothing to play with!

I don't understand?
i found an unusually large cornflake on ebay for 200 bucks.

yoyospirit

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Re: The Extremely Lame & Corny Joke Thread!
« Reply #15 on: April 13, 2011, 08:14:39 PM »
It's a pretty unappropriate joke.

A man gets pulled over and the cop tells him "You have just won the best drivers award!  What are you going to do with the prize money?  The guy replies "Buy myself a drivers liscense!"  The guy next to him says "Don't listen to him, he's drunk."  The guy in the back says "See?  I told you guys we wouldn't get that far in a stolen car!"  Then there is a knock from the the trunk and a voice says "Are we over the border yet?"

Liz

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Re: The Extremely Lame & Corny Joke Thread!
« Reply #16 on: April 13, 2011, 08:37:20 PM »
Growing up, my family was so poor, if I was born a girl I would have had nothing to play with!

Oh... I just got that.

gee_

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Re: The Extremely Lame & Corny Joke Thread!
« Reply #17 on: April 14, 2011, 03:29:18 PM »
What do you call a fish with no eyes?

a fsh

SaraPops

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Re: The Extremely Lame & Corny Joke Thread!
« Reply #18 on: April 15, 2011, 12:34:55 AM »
What do you call a fish with no eyes?

a fsh

Lame...

Good job O0
i found an unusually large cornflake on ebay for 200 bucks.

patrickcondon

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Re: The Extremely Lame & Corny Joke Thread!
« Reply #19 on: April 16, 2011, 07:22:07 PM »
Two snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff,






















*Ba-dum tish*

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